A hicky from Knicky is like a hallmark card Jeff conaway gets the Temptations to play in his backyard. Coz A hickey from Knicky is like a hallmark card.


I can quote many many lines form the 1981 movie version of Grease. I used to annoy my friends when we watched it by doing it under my breath like a rosary or a tantric meditation. Grease is the WORD. So of course when Lisa Ann and Chyna were like let's go to Jeff Conaway's housewarming party I was like oh hell ya. Even though we all witnessed the Celebrity Fit Club melt down 2 seasons ago when he basically spewed hangover bile all over the other cast mates (who were they? Cant remember? See what I mean! Knicky rulz) Anyways it was not lookin pretty back then with Jeff hazily running into walls and living in the backyard of his girlfriends place and alternating herbal Chinese medicine with street drugs. We wondered if the house warming was gonna be in the back of someone's car or in a Home Depot shed erected in the backyard of some in law's house in Pacoima. Oh how wrong we were. Seems Jeff got a nice little settlement (or perhaps he was watching the secret and willed himself into a better house—who knows--- only the bald genie who looks like the Rock and talks to the lady with the Australian accent) anyhow. Greeted by valet service, 2 green parrots and a manager called Freddy who had the list we swept into a gigantesque unilevel sprawl in Topanga with backyard pool hottub grotto waterfall thing and multi level patio. It was saint patty's day so the buffet was corned beef and cabbage (only the white half of me was amused by this) and there were two triangles of ice (a sculpture, a statement on the demise of the rhombus—I just learned rhombus on are you smarter than a fifth grader, answer NO) and Marilu Henner's middle school aged kids running around a crowd of semi hip pseudo well dressed young men and women in smart casual wear. I had on a smart casual silk top and jeans, Kristen fared better in a black wraparound, Chyna could have been wearing a burlap sack and it would have been formal (see above blog). Lisa was cute as always. It was a'ite. I didn't want to talk to Jeff or his super cute girlfriend because this was their night and I defined random at their party. But I did photograph the ice geometry and went to lick it as an act of performance art. The point is that the Temptations came onto the little backyard stage at about 1130. They just appeared, in their matching blue suits and deft hand foot choreography and harmonies. All the screenwriter looking white guys with horn rims nearly shit themselves. One kept screaming in my ear "it's the Temptations! Temptations! Temptations!" which was kind of exciting. Everyone was like is it REALLY them? And after a lot of heads jerking around to see what the consensus was, yes indeed it was them. Lisa said Jeff must have spent his entire settlement on this one party. It was surreal to quote the VH1. They did papa was a rollin stone and I was ecstatic. You can see it in my eyeball in the picture. Jeff gets on stage for My Girl. Marailu's kids were roaming and pausing to look at all the old dudes in suits sliding and floating on the tiny backyard stage. One redhead actress was grinding everyone near the tiny stage and sort of whooping the way only a forty something who still has great hair and who really remembers the songs can whoop. Chyna was nowhere to be seen and Kristen called her mom to tell her we were in a backyard with the Temptations. This is the opposite of New York. Nothing makes sense. There is too much money. There is too little money. People get a beat down in a casino and buy a house with two parrots in it. You are always a voyeur because nothing seems real here. In NYC you are the list. Here when you are on the list you get to watch the thing happen and then blog it because no one would believe it and you wont even remember it in the morning when something else bizarre happens. I like it here too but it seems like a really extended play version of Surreal Life Fame games. Non famous people act famous, famous people want to be something else, there are ice sculptures and parrots and the Temptations and no one knows how they got there or who is their friend. Just reporting it. Wondering at the end if I even had fun? I should have licked the ice for real. Just to see if it was as cold as it looked.