Sharon Stone can sell me the Brooklyn Bridge

One of the events I was ushered into last month was the L.A. women's night awards which the LGBT center puts on. Michele Balan (In pic with me and Jane Lynch of all the gay movies and the L word) had extra tickets to the dinner and gala and I am never one to turn down a 300 ticket to any red carpet event if there are going to be gift bags involved. Or a Linda Perry sighting. And this had both. We bulshitted on the red carpet and I made some spanish girl laugh as media maker and very very popular lesbian Fitz interviewed us for her I dunno what, and then inside saw the LA's finest in dresses and formal khakis, bierkenstocks and Shane from the L word get ups. The dinner was an awards ceremony and as Linda Perry who I find so freaking talented it makes my eyes get dry and itchy if I think of how lame I am compared to her, was gonna get one and sing. She ROCKED it. We were at the table with Poppi Champlain of Girl Bar who sang voulez vous douchez avec moi at the Dinah with me and Sandra Valls earlier this year, and when Westenhofer got up to start the auction in her all white getup (Michele said she looked like a tampon-she kinda did) not much was crackin. So Sharon Stone who was an award recipient for the work she has done with Amfar, after one limp wristed kinda bidding session thaat yielded like 2000 for a cruise on Olivia or some shit, Sharon fricking Stone jumps up from her gala table (she has a lot of lesbians working for her--maybe she likes the attention, maybe she likes the dyke drama maybe she likes herbal tea and wallet chains) anyways, she jumps up, reaches a well pilades'ed arm up towards the heavens GRABS the mic out of westenhofers hand and proceeds to take over the entire auction. She barks "this is pathetic even for lesbians! Do you or do you NOT want equal rights, marriage, and the same freedoms that straight people enjoy. Do you really want me, who ordained myself as a minister just so I could marry my gay friends to each other, to be your only option. Do you want my kids to see your unions as viable and real lawful affirmations of love? or what!!!???" And then she proceeds to literally yank the dollars out of peoples wallets with an intense auction of all the remaining items, one of which she pulled 20k for, the other 10k.

Lisa Ann tells me that she once saw Stone rip the shoes off her own feet at a private auction and say "there are only 3 pairs of these in the world. the bidding starts at 10 thousand dollars" Now I got a lotta gay friends who HATE when lgbt orgs give awards to the straight pretty people. But as a half time straight pretty person and full time queer culture vulture, I have to say lighten the fuck up. SHe is a gay icon, she raises hundreds of thousands of dollars and puts her time to making all of our lives better. I hear she is a handful at home. So fucking what. The bitch can call an auction. And she became a minister and she shows up to events. She ain't the problem. She is not taking nothing from nobody. She's trying to live a good life. We are all in this together. And any ism and obia hurts everyone. I agree that lgbt orgs need to be a little less uncle tom-y and sentimental about the straight pretty people who take up the cause. But stone made me think about making more money so I could give more away. To anyone who needs it. As long as I get a gift bag at the end of the night. (I gave mine away by the way, so there!)