Crashing Bishop Tutu's party makes me donate my last c-note

I wonder if I keep outing myself as the ultimate party crasher if I'm gonna start getting cock blocked at the velvet rope. Gives a scammer pause that's for sure. I'm hoping kulturefuk will fly under the radar for another year or so, so i can continue to chronicle the pursuit of free shit, and the infiltration of tony snobby exclusive parties for all of you who dream that one day you will have a use for that armani suit in tasteful earth tones that can fit in anywhere.

Party Crashing Tip #34. Do not wear outlandish colors to any event you are not actually invited to. Standing out is a total buzz kill. Especially if you dont know what the host or organizers look like you are an instant sitting duck if you draw the eye. Wear a subdued extremely expensive looking outfit. Do not wear anything with swirls or chartreuse or orange or pink unless part of your gambit is to see how long it takes to get kicked out. A tasteful conservative sexy look without, again, standing out too much is your meal ticket. If you look TOO HOT you will again get too much attention which is danger. This is not your moment to be the belle of the ball. This is your moment to pick up a drink like you've been there for hours, make a friend instantly who can make you look like you belong and entrench yourself in the party so that when you do get the raised eyebrow it's too late coz everyone feels like you belong there. See photo of Rachel and I in appropriate party crash attire with random dude who looks like a film maker

So when my hookup said -- "Come to a luncheon for Bishop Tutu which Elizabeth Taylor will attend," I donned a black dress with tiny dots, low heels and a coat and made Rachel do the same, and we pulled up to the valet in Pasadena all business. We breezed past the check in desk with some story about working for the charity, then immediately found some blank nametags, everyone had them, and quickly filled in our names.
Party Crash tip #35: Always bring a black blue and red pen for such occasions.
Long story short No Tutu. No Taylor. Rainn Wilson of The Office hosted the auction (with much less aplomb then La Stone in the previous blog) and there was a band and catering which wasn't too outlandish (good thing too since it was a charity event for an outreach to Africa organization called GAIA). Chuck of Chuck and BUck, or was it Buck, hmmm the weird one ok? That guy was there and then a lot of doctors and the guy who invented something which i cant remember right now, I think some kind of med thing like aspirin. Or the defibrillator. There were no gift bags and I actually donated a hundred bucks to the thing which is not supposed to happen on a free party crash situation. But kids need school. And Africa needs help. And I can't always expect Sharon Stone to take her shoes off and make a difference. You know? This pic is us in appropriate attire in an inappropriate photo op in mansion bathroom