Hoochie fuckin coochie

So I am doing an interview on Q TV to promote The Naughty Show DVD--for those of you with a few bucks to spend on hilarity it is www.thenaughtyshow.net, anyhoo and the show is Queer Edge with Jack E. and Jackie who has a newly sprouted vagina, congratulations grrrrrl. The show also is being celeb co hosted by Charo (I nearly fainted when she showed up in a hot red holiday outfit and those bodacious tatas a swingin. For she is an icon. No ifs ands or butts about it.) So we do the interview and Charo is deliciously delicious. She shows me how to increase my bust size with a little chant that goes "Mirrohawa Mirroarrrrr on de walllll, make my teets a porty forrrrr" (I got points on set for accent accuracy. And then we start talking about classical training and how we both have it and then, god bless her, she says, you know "That is my heart. " (Meaning her guitarra, meaning her classical music) She goes, "I had to hoochie coochie you know, because we all gotta make money, you know what I mean? " And in her eyes when she says hoochie coochie the perfect combination of irony, sadness, pride and kick ass wont take no for an answer. And I did know what she meant, as I told yet another asianpussyfunny joke. I just found out today that a certain rival of mine will be doing a bunch of tv episodes in a drama series I love. And I sighed as I hoochie coochied my way over to the National Lampoon offices to tape some song parodies for their comedy shows. Mirror Mirror on the wall, give me the balls to get what I want.

They used to sell sperm oil in Australia. I like the picture. Coz it says sperm oil.

That Yin Yang guy isnt really asian

Um just in case you were wondering, just in case you were watching TLC late at night because "intervention" was preempted by some home makeoer show or you had already seen that episode of the Disc channel's freakshow (has anyone else noticed that Disc and TLC are turning into bona fide freakshows? My favorite so far is 'The Baby born with Two heads' and ' Face Eating Tumor' which by the way seems to have afflicted a family member of mine from Indonesia--some distant cousin from my clan who has a ginormous humungous huge fuckin tumor eating his face as promised in the title).. Anyways does anyone give a crap that the two hosts of the East meets West solves your problems show on TLC are white dudes. This one in the pic with me is the actual white one, not the one who is always there wearing yukatas and kimonos and marital arts headbands and any other asianny orientally (please insert weird tinkling chinky music here) exoticky accoutrements. My friend and uber comedienne Amy Anderson who shares my blessing slash curse slash oddity of being a visible minority with a whitey white name 9courtesy of her actual adoptive parents actually being white) anyhoo, she points out to me that she auditioned for the Asian part on the show which fell to aforementioned white guy in short kimono. I think Amy and I are gonna dress up as Aunt jemima and pitch a soul cooking show. I might put on a sombrero and do a landscaping show. Please read other blog for more detailed ranting, but seriously--you cant take the human being out of the culture you represent until the world is a lot more egalitarian and a lot more open to visible minorities especially in the media. There are no fricking asians on TV and now asians arent even allowed to do asian things on TV. is this that different from David Carradine taking Bruce Lee's role in Kung Fu? Or Mickey Rooney lisping and bowing through Breakfast at Tiffany's? Slap on the yellow paint and the buck teeth people--you might get a job hosting a show about acupuncture. Can a sista get an Amen? Or an Om shanti? Or an Ah-So?